I begin this post asking to be shot through the head for quoting anything from Oprah, but Oprah & Friends XM Radio host Rabbi Shmuley Boteach did a segment on the ground rules for platonic relationships between men and women, and it made good sense.

So, can men and women be “just friends,” or is sexual attraction between them inevitable? According to Rabbi Shmuley, men and women can be friends with members of the opposite sex, as long as they follow certain rules. He talked about platonic friendship between the sexes and shared his ground rules for opposite-sex friendships outside of marriage.  

If a person isn’t married, Shmuley says it’s perfectly all right to have friends who are members of the opposite sex. Society has moved away from polarizing the sexes, and today, men and women work together, go to school together and should be able to be friends, he says.

Things are different if you are married, Shmuley says. It is possible to have an opposite sex friendship, but you cannot compromise certain borders:

  • You can’t go out to late night dinners together. You can have lunch together in a public place, but you should not order alcoholic beverages. “The embers of attraction really can grow in situations like that, and suddenly it’s not so innocent, it’s not just friendship anymore,” Shmuley says.
  • You can’t take long drives or long flights with the other person, even if it’s for work. “Even if you have to work with a colleague [of the opposite sex], there are still certain boundaries you need to preserve,” he says.
  • You cannot place yourself in any situation where romance can grow. ”Romance grows when people are alone; romance grows when people tell secrets,” Shmuley says.
  • You can’t share secrets with a platonic male or female friend that you don’t share with your spouse. “Because then you’re sharing an exclusivity with a member of the opposite sex that you’re not with your partner, and that can lead to a big no-no,” he says. 
  • You should not be friends with ex-lovers.

While some cling naively to the notion that men and women can be friends in the same way as same sex friends (assuming both people are not gay), I believe they are being ignorant to biology or are just not being
honest. 

A quick look back through my memory produced about five recollections of opposite sex friends who made some kind of sexual move on me - and each move was made during a time of vulnerability, a business trip or intoxication. One good friend crawled into bed with me while he was visiting from out of town. Another, while intoxicated, surprised me by getting touchy with little Miss Happy, if you know what I mean.

On each of those occasions I was not married, but I was in a relationship — which did not deter my friends. So I am VERY aware of the opposite-sex friend danger whan you are not careful and put yourself in
risky situations with a friend. 

So everyone, don’t be stupid, naive, dishonest or hide behind the “I’m different” shield. Biologically, we are all animals, some more than others.

Argue with me if you want, or share an opposite sex friend story – we know you have them!

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You dealt with some amazing emotional and physical issues over the last 9 months. Hopefully, you’re husband helped you manage all of the hormonal and psychological changes of pregnancy that may have also put a damper on your sex life. In many cases, pregnancy spurs a heightened sense of sexuality in woman, while in others it can throw a bloated, wet blanket into the bedroom. In both cases, the birth and postnatal recovery - emotional and physical - not to mention the inherent shift in priorities to your little bundle of joy, can make romance a statistical improbability. Read more

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My friend is dating Mr. Right, the only problem is that he is married and still lives with his wife. This would normally be an immediate red flag, but he claims that his wife is only staying until she can get an apartment of her own. My friend also says that he seems to be honest, caring, romantic and is available to her whenever she needs anything.  He says that his wife wants to save the marriage, which makes me doubt her intentions to move out. Read more

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Let the battle of the thermostat begin! Now that the evenings are growing dark and chilly, most people in northern climates have switched on their heating. But many are keeping the temperature low to save on fuel bills, which are expected to rise by 42 per cent this year. Home heating can spark fierce disagreement in couples. Some people sneakily crank up the thermostat when their partners aren’t looking; others wear woolly hats and gloves indoors as an ostentatious protest at the temperature of the room. Read more

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I didn’t see this one (coming out of the closet). But Comedian Wanda Sykes says the passage of a same-sex marriage ban in California has led to her be more outspoken about being gay. “You know, I don’t really talk about my sexual orientation. I didn’t feel like I had to. I was just living my life, not necessarily in the closet, but I was living my life,” Sykes told a crowd at a gay rights rally in Las Vegas on Saturday. “Everybody that
knows me personally they know I’m gay. But that’s the way people should be able to live their lives,” she said.

Sykes, who is known for her feisty and blunt style, said the passage of California’s Proposition 8 made her feel like she was “attacked.” “Now, I gotta get in their face,” she said. “I’m proud to be a woman. I’m proud to
be a black woman, and I’m proud to be gay.”

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Once upon a time (seems a hundred years ago), I was the proud possessor of a Bachelor of Arts degree in English Literature–determined not to teach, in love with a Naval flight instructor who was also a pharmacist. Marriage seemed like a good idea but it was fun to be a newspaper reporter for awhile!  

Read more

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Are you ready to get slimmer and feel younger?   Add these foods to your diet and you’ll gain nutrients as well as lose pounds.

Boost the benefits of your workout and burn more fat, faster, with these seven smart food choices. Add them to your daily diet and you can shed about 10 pounds over the course of a year. Read more

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Every woman struggles with sleep problems occasionally, at least. But it’s not just daytime drowsiness you risk when falling short of seven to eight hours of sleep.

Possible health consequences can involve the cardiovascular, endocrine, immune and nervous systems.

 In addition to being to busy or too stressed for a good night of sleep, between 50 and 70 million Americans suffer from a chronic sleep disorder that affects daily functioning and impinges on health. Consider the following research data: Read more

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 The readers of REDBOOK were asked a simple question: Does it matter if you and your man share the same political point of view? Here’s what they said. Read more

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In a good or bad economy it’s always good to save money. Now, unfortunately, it has become a necessity for many including myself. The power of the internet, however, has made it so easy to cut costs that it’s crazy not to take full advantage of it.

We’ll start with dining out. My husband and I are city dwellers and love to go out a few times a week. For a while we had to cut back, that is, until we discovered restaurant.com. Read more

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